Things that have happened recently:
I was rejected from two great jobs.
I had the opportunity to visit the new Forge class (on several occasions).
One of my Forge brothers got engaged and I got to be a part of it.
Two of my Forge brothers are going into the Army!
I had lunch with a friend from middle school and high school.
I’m discovering what it means to create community here in Denton.
I’m learning that I still don’t have control…of anything.
I’m realizing that everyday is a new chance to do it right.
I’m being reminded of my salvation through the book of Romans, which is rocking my world every time I read it.
I am applying to teach overseas.
I’m getting more and more excited about that opportunity each day.
There are many others things that have happened but I won’t bore you…plus I have some other things to say today.
These are some thoughts that I have been having but have not been focused enough to sit and put them down. They have been hard for me to put into words so I just haven’t but I was given an “assignment” to write a journal entry, so this is about as close as I can get for now.
For the past almost six weeks I have been in a cast (of various colors). That is about six weeks too long. Its almost like I have been in discomfort for these weeks. A cast makes everything harder and less enjoyable. It keeps me from sleeping well at night, keeps me from wanting to go places and see people. It is just uncomfortable.
However, living with something so uncomfortable has taught me a lot about comfort. The times I have felt most comfortable during these past six weeks have been the times when I didn’t let my cast keep me from enjoying what is happening around me.
I have been so blessed to get to sit at my favorite spot in all of Texas (at least that I have been to) and enjoy the sunset. Sitting in a chair with the warm sun hitting my face and surround my body. Cool lake breeze offsetting the heat of the sun. I was so comfortable. I love sitting there and seeing the sun get brighter and brighter as it gets lower and lower. At one point I felt like I might go blind if I continued to watch it, but I couldn’t help it. I had to watch it shrink and glow more as it changed colors and sank behind the tree line.
This is one of the only times in the past six weeks that I have felt comfortable. I was there sitting with my Creator and breathing in awe of Him and His creation, enjoying His gift to me. Talk about comfortable. I never wanted to leave.
Another thought that has been in my head for the past few weeks is from a book by Donald Miller called Through Painted Deserts. There is a part in the book where his is describing a billboard full of lies about how a product will make you feel how you are meant to feel. Here is what he says, “And maybe when a person doesn’t buy into the lies anymore, when a human stops long enough to realize that stuff people say to get us to part with our money often isn’t true, we can finally see the sunrise, smell the wetness in a Gulf breeze, stand in awe at a downpour no less magnificent than a twenty-thousand foot waterfall, ten square miles wide, wonder at the physics of a duck paddling itself across the surface of a pond, enjoy the reflection of the sun on the face of the moon, and know, This is what I was made to do. This is who I was made to be, that life is being given to me as a gift, that light is a metaphor, and God is doing these things to dazzle us.”
Maybe it has been since I was watching the sunset at the Shores that this thought was brought to my attention. I think so often I buy into the lies. Actually, I know that so often I buy into the lies and think that if I only had this or did that then I would feel like I am supposed to feel or be what I am supposed to be. But if I take the time to stop believing the lies and seek His truth, I can be set free from those feelings of longing and realized I am being dazzled!
In summer 2009, I was blessed with an amazing APD to follow. She is who suggested I read this book and then gave me this as something to think about and now I am going to give it to you to think about.
The definition of dazzle is “1) to astonish with delight, 2) to shine or reflect brilliantly, 3) to inspire admiration or wonder, 4) to amaze, overwhelm or bewilder with spectacular display”
And from that, she told me this: “I have just been think about this word and what it could mean in our relationship with Christ…if we astonish Him with delight. If we shone or reflected Him brilliantly. If we inspired admiration or wonder in those around us simply by the way we live our lives for Him and how He constantly inspires us to wonder at His majesty and creation and plans. And lastly, if we realize how He continuously, without fail, amazes, overwhelms and bewilders us with His spectacular display of love, beauty, and grace. He is everything there is in the word dazzle.”
Amen. When my eyes are open to Him, I see Him dazzling me through the Salvation He has given me, friendships, family, plans I don’t understand yet, and love. Yes, He is everything there is in the word dazzle.
Those are just some thoughts for your Friday.
